Theologians Agree That Reclining Your Seat On A Crowded Airplane Is Cause For Being Sent To Hell

A recent meeting of the World’s Religions Conference resulted in a stunning declaration. Reclining the seat on a crowded airplane can get a soul sent to Hell. Leaders of every major and lesser known religions pointed to various texts. Reverend Cynthia Echols claims it is plainly spelled out in the Bible. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Don’t nobody want the person in front of them reclining their seat. Why are you gonna do it to somebody else?” Rabbi Robert Glassman concurred. “The Ten Commandments clearly states ‘Thou shalt no kill’ and it kills me whenever the person in front of me reclines their seat and my legs are cramped for the rest of the flight. God will punish for that. “

Muslims, witch doctors, Hindus, Buddhists, Zoroastrianists, Scientologists and Rastafarians all agreed. Even one atheist who was present said that the fastest way to get to Hell is to recline your seat in an airplane. “I’m certain that the god that I do not believe in will manifest itself for the sole purpose of sending these people to Hell then go back to never having existed. It’s that heinous of an act.”.

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John Moody

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.
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