Man Who Thought Ayesha Curry’s Statement Meant He Should Holla At Michelle Obama Is Still In ICU

Chicago, IL- A Chicago man is still in ICU after foolishly thinking he should try to holla at former First Lady Michelle Obama. Derrick “What Yo Name Is” Cole approached Mrs. Obama at a fundraiser for Yes We Code and decided she would be appreciative of his attention. Last week, Mr. Cole was at first upset, then inspired by a controversial interview with Ayesha Curry in which she admitted to missing some of the attention she used to get from men. Mr. Cole was very active on social media misinterpreting the short clip to mean she wanted men to flirt with her. He then thought other celebrity wives might miss and want attention from other men and decided this could be an opportunity.

Mr. Cole posted on Facebook: “I always thought women were happy with successful men. Seems like they still need more so I’m gonna start hollerin’ at married women, the more successful the better. I’m gonna come up big time. Think I will get at Michelle Obama next week” Despite all of the warnings from friends that she didn’t want him, Cole decided to shoot his shot during a Q&A at a fundraiser. When chosen to ask Mrs. Obama a question, Cole asked if she get’s lonely when Barack is away and if he could find out what that thang do.

Mr. Cole was admitted to a local hospital shortly afterwards. At press time it was still not clear if it was angry crowd members, The Secret Service or Mrs. Obama herself who laid hands on Cole and put him in the hospital. Cole was able to make a brief statement: “Uhhhhggggghh Owwwww mmmmuugggggh.”

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John Moody

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.
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