Man Discovers That He Is More Comfortable With His Pants Pulled Up

Buffalo, NYâ?? In a press conference that shook the city, Bernard â??Woop-Woopâ? Higgins announced to a fully packed press room that he was in fact far more comfortable when his pants are pulled up. According to Higgins, this revelation occurred when he was running late for work. â??I was literally running late.â? Higgins told reporters. â??My manager told me if I was late one more time, I would lose the job.â? Higgins looked at his watch and after realizing that he had only fifteen minutes before his shift began, he instinctively pulled up his pants and began to run. It was a race against time. â??Man,â? Higgins sighed with a smile, recalling the memory. â??I never ran like that before. Shoot. I never even walked like that before.â?

Prior to this, Higgins had accustomed himself to a penguin-walk, a consequence of sagging pants. These days, Higgins walks with a smart, confident gait. â??For real though, I walk smooth now and my ass don’t get wet when it rains. Facts.â? To raise awareness, Bernard is now working on a new book titled, â??Now I Know Why Mama Always Said Bring Me My Belt.â?- Ahmad Jordan is a special contributor to the Urban Beet. He is also the author of
Harriet Tubman: Whoop-Ass Wushu Master Massa-Killa.

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John Moody

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.
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